How Far I'll Go

For a long time there has been a disconnection between my heart and mind. I’ve spent so many years on an incredible journey of discovery, feeling like I need to reach just a little farther than what I thought was possible in my life. It’s like I’ve been coasting life on the easy path, which is incredibly funny, because everyone around me questions how I can be involved with so many opportunities at the same time. It feels like I can do more, help more and accomplish more. I’m not pushing myself against resistance because it feels effortless.

I have to tell you, in my mind there is no clock. I do not operate on a 24-hour schedule, because God constantly multiplies and takes away the measurement of time on a daily basis. This is more recognizable on the days that I devote special time to him, and it is multiplied with the special human interactions I am so blessed to experience.

Socializing with all of God’s children, and listening to inspiriting music are my simple pleasures. My nourishment is prayer and worship. The simplest things in life can be so rewarding, because of the joy I take in it – its missionary in design. I have become a living, breathing organism of missionary discipleship. Despite how much happiness it brings me, I’m more grateful with the volume of people I am serving and positively impacting.

Do I have a special power? No. I can totally relate to Disney’s Moana theme song, “How Far I’ll Go”. She recognizes the disconnection between her physical realities and the spiritual pull from her heart. It’s enticing. It’s mesmerizing. The spiritual pull is stronger, and growing each day.  She is so curious that she is willing to experience the satisfaction of her heart with an enormous amount of risk.

That’s how I feel. There is so much risk in what I am doing – balancing my full-time job with freelance opportunities, collaboration with non-profits, schedules, my books and pilgrimages - it takes up a lot of human time. I do all of it while prioritizing my relationship with God, my marriage and my kids. God is calling me. I have no idea how far it will take me, but the desire is so strong and captivating that I am willing to take the risk to see where it goes.